Welcome to day 4 of the 31 Days of Tales From the Crypt. I’m the host of this blogathon, Bubbawheat and I’m here to introduce this day’s episode brought to you by our own the IPC. While IPC has been away for a bit, I’m sure he will be back with his buddy Scoots to finish talking about the The Six Million Dollar Man, but meanwhile you can also visit his own site Isaacs Picture Conclusions where you can find more of his humor and the occasional (who am I kidding, the frequent) NSFW pics somehow related to horror movies. And if that wasn’t all, he’s also working on a film called Raising Hell. So without further ado, here’s his take on unfortunately one of the lesser quality episodes from the first season which he picked completely by random. Enjoy!
Episode Title: Lover Come Hack to Me
Original Airdate: 6-21-89
When this Crypt series was announced and having only ever seen a few of these episodes, I randomly chose one that was available on YouTube – I had no idea what I was getting into and when it started I was all “Amanda Plummer???? Sh*t.” I’ve never really been a big fan of hers and had just recently been irritated by her in Pulp Fiction. But I’m a man of my word so I pressed on watched her strange face deliver her strange lines with her strange voice. I also watched a guy with a woman’s hairdo smoke some cigarettes and complain about getting wet in the rain. It’s kind of hard to tell but I also noticed how his neck tie changed during the ride from the Justice of the Peace to the creepy mansion they would be staying the night in.
I also noticed that this came out in 1989 so I’m not sure if HBO was still pure and chaste but there’s a couple of sex scenes in here that DON’T show any skin (just a bunch of moaning). Further, I noticed that the prop guys chose an axe bigger than Plummer so she seemed to have a hard time wielding it and her kill strokes were so slow and weak that they probably couldn’t have done much damage…
The story? *spoilers* Mousy and feeble Amanda Plummer plays a mousy and feeble virgin who gets married to a dude with a woman’s hairdo who is only marrying her for her money. On the way home they are conveniently detoured by a fallen tree and spend the night in an old, abandoned mansion where he takes her virginity but leaves her a baby so she kills him like her mother did her father. Aces!
The moral of this story – don’t leave a baby in your newlywed’s womb until you’ve got your hands on that inheritance money!
Channel: Superhero 
Hey! Nice review – I’ve just finished mine for this. I think you chose the wrong one, dude, as mine had plenty of blood & BOOBS. 🙂 I’ve only ever seen a few of these episodes as well – I want to watch more now!
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You should have asked me to choose one for you, I agree that this was one of the lesser ones, but I appreciate that you took the time to join in. Also hope to see you and Scoots get back into the Six Million Dollar Man, we need a little bit more of your sense of humor here!
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