Powers S:01 E:10

So, after ten episodes of slowly flailing its arms about, Powers sputters to a halt. Did they pull out of the nosedive in time? Did they make something truly impressive, clever, and inspiring? Did they justify the millions of dollars Sony poured into this thing? Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha nope.

Episode Title: F@#k the Big Chiller (yes, that is seriously the title)
Original Airdate: 4-28-2015

I can summarize this entire episode for you in a single paragraph: Various people inadequately and illogically try to stop the decidedly non-rampaging Wolfe while he largely stands still and lets them do it, then somehow they beat him and a full 25% of the episode is devoted to slow denouement scenes. Done.

The entire “fight” with Wolfe is awkward and confusing. They order Christian to stay out, despite him… somehow being able to drain his powers? For reasons? Then dozens of cops sit around and watch idly as he leisurely strolls around in public and brutally mauls Zora before they actually lift a finger to try and stop him. (It doesn’t work.) Later Retro Girl smashes through a window in spectacular fashion before… lightly knocking Wolfe to the ground, expecting that to actually do anything at all. (It doesn’t.)

And finally, we get a madcap sequence of events in which nobody seems to notice that Calista was the one who actually saved the day by using Wolfe’s world-destroying Black Swan-level powers they were all so terrified of. Seriously, she zaps him using the bloodless revamp of Wolfe’s VFX and nobody notices this happening. Nobody.

Lastly, we get sixteen minutes of semi-meaningful character scenes to establish where everybody is after the Wolfe situation is ??resolved??. Seriously, this has more slow-moving, emotionally heartstrung ending scenes than Lord of the Rings did.

Oh, and then they murder someone in the last ten seconds so they can go DUN DUN DUUUUUUN! and have their season two hook. And, because I don’t care to protect this spoiler because it’s balls-out stupid, it’s the strongest female character they have. Yes, they stuffed Retro Girl in a fridge — because of course you murder your female protagonist / love interest to make your gritty antihero protagonist grittier. By this point Christian must be made entirely of sand particles and spite.

I’m out. I’m done. If Sony wants to pour enough money to feed the homeless for a year down this particular drain again I’m not going to fork over money for Playstation Plus to enable their madness. The show wasn’t ENTIRELY awful, it had rare moments of brilliance… but sloppy writing, plot conveniences, forced drama, going-nowhere teen subplots, one dimensional characters, and low budget visual effects really do not make this something I ever care to watch again.

I want this idea done right. I want to see a semi-realistic world where superheroes are integrated into society, where the whole clockwork mechanism works, where we seriously examine the issues of having superhumans in our midst.

Powers is not that show. Steer clear.

Thank you and good night.

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