Episode: The Last of the Fourth of Julys
Original Airdate: 04/05/1974
Happy Sunday! EI and Scoot from Damian Thomas Films Etc . are back and ready to rock your socks off!! That is, if you’re wearing socks… are you one of those sandal wearing hippies???? Well, either way, you’re welcome here, unless you’re one of those Communist Pinko-s who want to blow up the world with nuclear weapons, you bums!!!!!
SCOOT: Guy Fawks night dicks on fourth of July day, just putting that out there. Anyway, it’s good to be back doing another review for the three people that ever read them, I’m absolutely positive that they’re all communists as well.
EI: I’m glad you’re back you $#@!@#@#! Wanker!!! What did you think about this episode? I thought this was one of the weaker ones even with all of the screaming and pole vaulting…..
SCOOT: Well it’s a weird one this week, where’s Steve Austin? Why am I watching a wrestling match involving some rich guy in black knickers? Oh crap, I forgot to type the word “six” in my pisstorrent search bar. I think we might have to start this one again, I don’t want people knowing that I watch all these episodes on illegal websites. Bloody nazis.
EI: I know we’re not really supposed to talk about it but I liked how the Interpol chick’s boob almost popped out when she was getting into the wetsuit. Speaking of wetsuits, I’m ready for some of this:
SCOOT: It’s been fun, lots of laughs, Jaime.
It always is when friends meet again.
But lately it’s gone flat for me, Jaime.
I don’t like seeing you, now and then.
Our friendship is finished. That’s true.
But there’s hope, a way to make it through.
Because, sweet Jaime, I love you.
I never want to say goodbye to you.
Sweet Jaime, I’ll love you forever.
I know we’ll never part.
I love you like I’ve loved no other.
Make room for me in your heart.
EI: In this episode, Steve must infiltrate a madman’s compound and prevent him from sending a missile to kill all of the world’s Prime Ministers! SINISTER!!!!! And, by infiltrate, he has to pole vault over a 30 foot electrified fence even though later in the show he simply opens it with his bionic hand……
SCOOT: On paper, that sounds pretty epic, but this episode is really drawn out so I’d rather talk about last week’s, especially the seven hour long slow motion fight where the black kung fu guy got thrown into a tree two million times. I liked him, he was fat.
EI: I like how, at the end Steve is getting Interpol chick drunk so he can go………….. practice International Politics….
SCOOT: Here’s three stuff I seen with some eyes:
1. The baddies in this are like the Mission: Impossible team, but evil and not as successful.
2. telescopic pole vault poles exist. I wouldn’t fancy using one.
3. If you play this episode backwards at midnight on the fourth of July, a floating John Saxon face doesn’t appear in the room shaking his head and frowning… you mental!
EI: Lindsay Wagner can pole vault my torpedo any day!
SCOOT: Do you think that there’s any seagulls that are scared of heights?
EI: That’s all for today! Except for this: