Episode: Eyewitness to Murder
Original Airdate: 03/08/1974
Happy Sunday! EI and Scoot from Damian Thomas Films Etc . are back and ready to rock! Our abs are chiseled and our triceps swollen, so that means you know we’ve got a good episode here to report on. As always, unbutton those jeans, unlock your petticoats and sit back to enjoy the sounds of two grown men talking about a 1974 TV episode. You’re welcome!!!
SCOOT: Yo, ‘sup G? I’z jus’ chillin’ wid ma main dawg big daddy Austin ‘n sheeet, so wassup wid y’all? Sorry, I’m just practicing my jive talk as I’ve just bagged the role of “Pimp 3” in the stage adaptation of Dolemite, which will be playing in the west end this summer. Plus, I really struggle with what to put in these opening paragraphs.
EI: I can’t find any reasonable looking pics for this episode so I am going to use some of the Google “related images”…. YUM!!! I don’t know if that’s too risque – let me know if the boss emails us. I’m going to get drunk after this. Sext me. Like normal. You pervert.
SCOOT: Um… yeah, what? Right, where were we? Oh yeah, The Sex… I mean, The Six Million Dollar Man. So, some sniper shoots a guy and luckily the first bionic man just happens to be standing about four feet away from the victim. He then spots the rooftop sniper using his beeping bionic eye and runs dead fast up the stairs, but the sniper’s in his car now so he has to jump back down again. He doesn’t catch him.
EI: Is it just me or are Steve Austin’s testicles showcased in those polyester pants this episode and they seem to be enormous. They look like a couple of beige plums.
SCOOT: You know? I really really did notice that! Here’s three other things I also noticed in my exciting new weekly segment.. Three things I noticed!
1. Even though Austin is jumping off buildings and ripping taxi doors off in the middle of town, Oscar’s still trying to keep him a secret.
2. “Hey aren’t you Steve Austin, the astronaut? You went to the moon right? I saw it on TV!”
3. No John Saxon.
EI: Why is Oscar so serious all the time??? Can’t he lighten up for one episode? He’s going to get kidney stones before too long. Cheer up, pal! Do some Moonlight Canoeing or something. Hey look!
SCOOT: Yeah, he’s yawning when Steve and him are talking about the shooting, but when he realises the victim’s a VIP he’s all, “Yo Steve, get yo ass in gear and catch this punk!” So Steve’s like, “Bloody hell, Oscar! What you playing at, mate? You were ready to catch some Z’s a second ago” and Oscar’s all like, “That’s before I knew who it was, you sexy rascal!”
Plus, he didn’t even laugh at Steve’s awesome carrot joke!
EI: OMG OMG OMG OMG THE ASSASSIN HAS AN IDENTICAL TWIN!! OMG OMG OMG SPOILERS!!!!!
SCOOT: Holy electric sex kestrels, Batman! Let’s head over now, LIVE, for a reaction from the Brady girls…
EI: I think we should knit ourselves some dresses like Jan has on and do a video review of the next ep.