The Six Million Dollar Man Movie:02

Episode: Wine, Women and War
Original Airdate: 10/20/73

Here we go with “Pilot Movie Number 2” – I don’t remember this one either since it came out when I was 2. I might have watched it as an infant but I don’t remember much from that year. What I do know from that time of my life is that was after my birth father left me and mom – Easy Rider style – so my mom was going around trying to find a new husband to take care of me, so I lived with my Grandparents most of the time. That being the case, I probably watched a LOT of Johnny Carson, All in the Family and Liberace specials.  And The Carol Burnett show. And Sonny & Cher. Let’s see what we’ve got here.

Unlike Movie Pilot 1 – I see we have a fancy new theme song… very Shaft-y – must have been hip at the time. We open in some rizty resort like Monte Carlo (or something), the air is cool and the night is upon us.  Last time around Steve tangled with some terrorists – this time he’s dapper in a tux and going to thwart an Arms deal with the Russians!! Big time!! I guess they had a bigger budget or just got smarter because we see a lot more of the bionic-ness of The Bionic Man instead of sped up images of him running through fields. He smashes through concrete walls!! He bends rifle barrels with his fingertips! He hits golf balls miles into the air!! He’s also a stud with the ladies!! Oh the life of the bionic spy!!

Here’s some notable takeaways from the second of three TV “Pilot” movies:

• I see we have a new Rudy (the bionics expert guy)
• Barry Goldwater!! Nice glasses, pal!
• This is some niiiiiiiiiiiiiiiice opening theme music… Hello SHAFT…
• Britt Ekland!!???!??!?!!!!
• I see we have the inaugural use of the bionic eyeball….
• Steve Austin is very James Bond-y in this… tuxes and martinis….
• Depth charges!!! AW SNAP!!! Will he survive???
• After being repaired of the damage from those depth charges, Rudy gives Steve some “Booster Gyros”…!
• Britt Ekland!!!! “Please send me your dinghy!”
• Nice toast “Here’s mud in your eye” LOL
• Steve meets “The Russian”, they have a drink and throw their glasses into the fireplace. What’s with that???
• The Man With the Feathered Haircut!!
• “Sorry I had to violate your porthole.” Smoooooooooooooth

This one was pretty good – it had a lot more meat to it than the first one. There’s poisonous gas, some ladies, some bell bottoms, some missiles and some espionage! The plot is simple – Steve Austin thwarts the Russians! America wins!! GO GO GO U.S.A.!!!!!

Good fun!