Episode: Doomsday, and Counting
Original Airdate: 03/01/1974
Happy Sunday! EI and Scoot from Damian Thomas Films Etc . are back with another powerful, moving, exotic and steamy rendering of The Six Million Dollar Man, Episode 6. You’ll have to click on the “read more” thing to see what we’ve got but we promise this one will be extra juicy! Don’t read this while you’re sitting in church or you might catch fire!!
SCOOT: I’m in the mooood for dancing, romancing, I’m giving it all tonight! Yeah, It’s such a shame that I got banned from church for stealing a Jesus and putting it on my head and running up to old ladies singing “Jesus Christ Superstar”. Anyway, that’s all in the past now, hit us with some raunch, Isaacs!
EI: Well, I guess we can’t be too sexy after all, we don’t want to get a deficiency from the boss. Let’s take a look at this sexy bastard instead:
SCOOT: Whoah! Marky Mark’s really got his work cut out in the remake. How do you even begin to portray such a massive mountain of man action? Hey look. Russians!!!
EI: I like how these Russians speak AMAZING English at their base on that Russian island. Kudos, Comrades!! NYET NYET and Vodka!! Hey!! What about this???? давайте посмотрим, ваши сиськи !
SCOOT: I mean yeah, I usually have a problem with foreign bad guys speaking English when they’re just chatting amongst themselves, but why the blatent American accents!? YEE HAW! Oh wait, these are the good guys? That’s a novel twist. Are there any bad guys in this or is it just about Russians being rubbish at owning nuclear bombs? Oh, just in case you didn’t catch on that these are Russians, vodka has been mentioned about fifty times…
EI: AW SNAP!!!! Comrade Vaseline risked EVERYTHING for his dear Irina… EVERYTHING!!!!! EVEN HIS LIFE!!!!! The pain!!!! Wait, is he just standing behind some special effects??? THE PAIN!!! THE AGONY!!!! LIFE IS TOO SHORT!!!!! OOOPS… um SPOILERS!
SCOOT: Poor Vaseline, he’d only just come to terms with his ridiculous name in life when zap, some laser things kind of shoot past him and make his brain explode… or something. Steve loses one of his closest friends but hey, there’s a free lady on the go now!
EI: I’m still mad at you for criticizing my header the other day. Not everyone has reverse backwards fonts, you know. I’m also mad at you for stealing Irina from me, putting your bottled water on my Diet Coke shelf in the work fridge and for pooping in the stall next to the urinal.
SCOOT: Oh stop crying you big woman and… Eric, why’s your shirt all torn?
EI: How did that get in there???????? What’s going on here???